Nostalgic...

A moment ago, I was checking my diary in which I keep my transactions recorded- something I have been doing for quite a long time now. The diary has transactions of the past few years stored in it, filled in with black, blue and green pens. I don't know why, but I decided to check the past transactions, and what I saw almost brought me on the verge of tears.

I still remember the day when mom declared that we would be getting pocket-money from the next month, and the amount was lucrative too. 1,000 taka was really a lot for us at that age. We were only leaving school then. Although kids of that age pretty much lay hands on more money, we never saw the face of those fresh notes before that age. If we needed something, anything, we would only name it, and dad would bring those to us in next to no time. It was that simple, and we never had to ask for money! I don't smoke or do drugs, and nor does my brother. Hence everything we ever did was acceptable to our ever-affectionate parents, may that be buying tons of PC game CDs for him or a set of new released books for me.

The transaction of the past few years were too simple, too. The space labeled with 'Income' was happily filled with 'Pocket-money: 1,000/-', and my expense fluctuated carefully as to not cross the limit of that thousand taka. I still remember the grief that engulfed me whenever my balance would creep towards a negative amount. Then soon again, the month would end, and I would be gifted with another thousand along with a bundle of relief! Ah those days! It was really a thrill to run the cycle of save-spend-save again and again while staying within the limit of a small amount of money.

But those were the days when I was a kid, and now I have grown up, at least that's what the transaction record of this month says. The expense has crossed 10,000/-. Today I have a moderately successful freelance career, and I am about to launch my new business. I will have buckets of money stored to my bank account every month, and the diary will reach its last page sooner than necessary. It feels great when I shop for myself, for my parents, for my brother, my grandma; and that too with my own money! But I guess I will never find myself going through that thrill again. I will never run that small cycle of save-spend-save. That cycle will turn into a much more complex form shaped by an entrepreneur's dream to own the world. My monthly expense will never be 500/- again, and I will never find peace when I will get another thousand from my mother. I don't know if that moment will even be needed...

Life moves on, we grow, and so does the list of our success. We become so busy with money and materialism that sometimes we forget those small moments of happiness that essentially shaped us as a person that we are today.

For the first time ever I truly feel like I could do with one of those Penesives that Ms. Rowling talked about in Harry Potter. It would have been easier for me to re-live the past again then.

Feeling nostalgic...

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